SWAAATE

Paris hax0red

2005-02-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

The queen of rufflestiltstizz REVEALED with THE WEAZZZZZZZZZZZEL

Paris Hilton hath had her phone hacked,

skanking bacon makes you wonder if the celebs in the phone gonna be saying no-buzz to mzzzzzz hilton anytimes lately
i pronounce Durst, no literally Fred Durst (the durstliest of them all) was in the phone book stayreal

but seriously paris hilton and pauly shore? too best
notice his camo silken weenis - wait if you can help it try not too

wait in other news our former guv here in the atx capt georgeliah bush hath alludead to hitting the green monster, no not fenway pot! its all right here puff puff pass

i pronounce wurst weekend bovs
RIP HST

B

Hunter S Thompson Deadzzzzz

2005-02-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

here's the sad news
Yo
its hard to believe but its true
this is a sad edition of swaaate
Hunter S. Thompson is Dead
moment of silence
.
.
.
.

Its hard to believe that the man immortalized in the instant classic Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas could be wearing daisizz. RIP

In otha macabzz
Gidget is dead, yes actress Sandra Dee is no longer, no more dancing fair beach lass

I pronounce sunday the 20th of february non blogs and no buzz
ferreal

B

Nuff Said

2005-02-04T09:23:00.000-08:00

A source just sent this to me, probably NSFW

so be careful natch

but shmeariously if you can tell why NSFW post a comment

We will put you on blast (you know but in a good way)

B

Real World Austin Texas, Revealed!

2005-02-04T08:19:00.000-08:00

Internal sources are reporting that the real world house is located on historic san jacinto street, right near all that fine dining stizz, and just a step away from drunken debauch natch; this is your source for all that real world flava, gotta a tip drop us a hit shmeariously;

Filming began on Jan 28th, but still Wanted, who is the Austin Texas Real World Cast? Developing

In other news the Burnt Orange Report (reports natch) that a texas town, Canton, has disallowed shooting of an independent film with an alternative lifestyle (read: gay stizz) Canton is a dick in the mouth away from losing all sorts of business. I pronounce non-blogs

Can I ask a question wasnt the whole evolution debate decided? What with the scopes monkey trial and all being the death rattle like 90 some odd years ago?

apparently moronic stizz has more shelf life than king tut's corpse zombies redux, keep hitting that button, getting all hot and heavy with the so called profesh creationists reenterang the fray smite yourself keep your fingers to the pulse of the Rapture Index, yo im a pre-trib doubter methinks

no post State of the Union, well ahem post, would be complete with out a picture our god-fearing, terrorist smiting, leader,

incidentillizz does that guy on the back right look like the Big Red-Neck Sum Bitch from the West Wing (circa season 2)? Life be imitating art again, natch

B

The Rowdy Girls!

2005-02-01T16:29:00.000-08:00

First off, who can name the reference in today's title?

Whoo, sorry for the lack of updates, but boy was last weekend debauch! Friday night you would've found dear B&L themselves amongst the bloggas at Gallery Lombardi celebrazzing Rachel's and Emjo's artwork. Lots of alcohol, but some of us were already drunk (notably, Lisse and Claire). Sorry I don't remember seeing your pictures or telling you I love you, Rachel! But girl, you know it's, girl you know it's, girl you know it's true. Natch.

And the story of Saturday night brings so much buzz: Nasty Nicole (aka The Nicolster) got rowdy! She drowned in cosmos, then a girl looked at her funny. Nicolster went into full burst mode, trying to fight. "Come fight! Come say it to my face, you miserable fuck! I'll punch you in the ass!" Swaaate wording on the last one! Shmeariously, though, The Nicolster was a dick in the mouth away from showing down, and the bitch deserved it! Developing: will Nicolster's boyfriend Robbie forgive her for embarrassing him in front of his colleagues?

In other news, eating blueberries reduces bloating.

Million Dollar Baby? Some say Academy Award contender. Others say enjoyable but formulaic. Some buzz.

Yo some guys just don't see t's all often like

2005-01-28T15:10:00.000-08:00

Best Photo Evs special thanks to the cobra snake for taking and hosting these photos ferreal Props

Speaking of t's Prof1.50 is coming down to the Austin Town to see some luna; a report of the show will follow check your listings obvs

no friday edition would be complete without a photo of our president GW

props to those of you who know the elected leader to appear in full uniform stizz

keeping you working thru the weekend, shmears
keep it tooooootemptan

B

Arcade Fire = toooootemptan!

2005-01-25T09:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry my bloggas, but yer brazitas had to have his stizz in order, word to why ive been malingering, thus the non blogs atcha

Austin Texas meets the band

Be it resolved Arcade Fire = best concert of 2005, this being in stark contrast to the lissie non review down below, but hey lissy might be thinking 2005 ain't over yet, so what ma blogs brazzie doth prognosticate and like my man Carnac may he rest in peace ill be wearing this hat for thirty some odd years
RIP

Opening for Arcade Fire here in the ATX be our friend Owen in Final Fantasy the band of course

Total Buzz for this The t's were weeping in their respective (or prospective) tees Final Fantasy the band listen for him at kvrx thursdays 9 to 11 on the Introducing the Queen's Royal Adventuring Society
additional props to Owen for the swaaate free passes into the sold out show this hath been a temptational weekend for yours
shmeariously

B

Worker and Parasite

2005-01-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

Sup, duders? Sosorry for the lag of entries, but it's been a buzzy week. Lots to relate now, though!

Rhys Southan, mentioned before, now warrants two items. First, in preps for living in a land where the beer flows like wine, the boy got drunk for the first time evs the other night. Would be so best except I missed it (Brazmatazz was there, luckily, and I got the stizz from him). Semi-embarrassing stories and interjex of Rachel's hottness abounded, ferreals. Second, Rhys is no longer an Austinite. He's a Dallasite for triple dub days, and then a Pragueite. Good news: this probubz means the return of a blogga...but we'll still miss him like 2004. Holla atcha, Rhys!

Next up, Rene got tasered and arrested! At a peaceful protest. Um, hello, but sticking a stick that causes muscle contractions and excruciating pain into a hero's back (for what else can you call a boy who tries to save his friend from arrest and police brutality) and then arresting him for interfering in arrest seems more than a little rude. I pronounce piggies. NO BUZZ!

Cheer up, tho, blogga, cux Brazzie made an A+ sammie last night. Was it the vegan liver sammie? Unknown, but definits totemptan. Developing! Two plans: sammie swap and tofutti cutie eating contest.

Wrestling: invented by men, perfected by women. In much the same stizz, Lorene made the Movie Night, but The Nicolster perfected it. Root beer floats, spaghetti westerns, and ten bloggas in the living room is definits buzz, natch. Repeat stizz on next Wednesday as well? Whoop!

Cryin' cux you didn't get into the Arcade Fire concert? First offs, ol' Brazzie was there, details developing. Second offs, Owen, who strums and trucks with them though not a listed member, has a history with Royalites and seems real nice. Buzz on that, but why tear up over missing some overduzz band playing power pop rehashed when you can sit around drinking $5 vodka and listening to such winners as Cryin' itself? Excuzz, but eff all indie rockettes, cux Roy Orbison is more duder than you'll ever be, puders.

blogga please

2005-01-19T23:52:00.000-08:00

Your intrepid bloggah has been decommissioned by wicked hangouvres from that third jewel of the burnet bar circuit, the Poodle Dog Lounge. Said lounge has shit loads of poodle tables where some non blogged dropped some b's in some p's shmears

Winter's coming in atx, but slackerstizz, sstizz to coin a portmanteau, can be seen in droves allowing nubiles ample opportunity to sample the stew, let it simmer

getting ready for the spring break in the atx 2005 can i getta Buzzz? no

B

Big Baby Jesus

2005-01-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

In what will be forever known as The Great Personal Fridge Massacre 2005, Adam and Nicole H. outraged all Royalty by throwing out people's food. Incluzz amongst the victims was your dear Lissy herself, with a whole lunch from Hoa Hoa shoffed off. Newsflash, Walter Cronkite: it had my name and date on it, and it was only a day old! That shit hurts a girl! I've gotta admit, though, probubz the worst hit was Rhys, whose carnage included a pie. Durst!

But before we pronounce Adam and Nicole H. as forevs non-blogs, we must turn our windows to the soul to last night, in which those very two cooked a badass meal for the house--nonreq, too! Dude, it was badass, duder. O, those garlic bread slices were like manna from you-know-wherevs. And thus, while the two might still not be called bloggas, they have at least shoffed their non-blogginess.

In other news, first meeting of the semester was last night. Ol' Brazzie is new trustee, and Lissy is treasurer. The Nicolster is fun police, so let's hope she's extra fascist. (Upcoming fun includes a sock hop; no music dated after 1970, bloggas!) Quote of the night came from Riley, who, afeared his new job would req too much responsibility, said, "I understand there's stapling involved?" Bovs, muffas!

Carmela can only dreeem; Shmeariously

2005-01-14T11:44:00.000-08:00

The mac mini is making us bloggas druuul shmearious visions of mounted mac mini's tumble through my head techtopia here we come

Be it Resolved Huygens, the best sit com name for a family evs or at least since Huxtable
stop hitting those 40's Bill you might be losing that pos forevs

roooyal high gear ferreal ovs pre meet n greet, get to know yahs natch, bo no neccesary knowhutimsaying

in other news me here in the wok, hearing about all the abll players, you know Ricky massaging Williams, Randy Mass and Jeff Garcia's tussling girlfriend Carmella DeCesare ovs this woman been knocking t's like t'otha Carmela only dreams of; a Soprano taking lessons from a playmate?
I pronounce tooootemptan
B

I see you

2005-01-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night boasted a gathering of Royal & Co. at the good ol' Dog and Duck Pub. Pubsters abounded and even tried to smoosh over to our table (whaaaaaat?) but we bloggas held tight to the picnic table and surrounding area that was our own. The night was full of cheap pints and swaaate talking, and we were left with only 2 questions: where was Susannah and will it happen again? Developing!

Hottness revealed! Apparently Brazzie likes extra-tight t-shirts. He was shoffing those pees last night like there was no today.

And speaking of pees, here are the tees that The Nicolster loves to bestow upon us all. Some say hottest pin-up girl since Simonetta Catteano.

Jandek: legend or hack? Documentary on Jandek: informative or pretentiously amateurish? Except for the interviews, it's more like a suckumentary. Very little buzz.

smite thyself

2005-01-12T21:21:00.000-08:00

Ferreal, US calls off search for WMD's bovs they never existed, check your vacancy durstest idea evs.

B

Caffeine induced delusions of grandeur, revealed!

2005-01-10T23:34:00.000-08:00

Down on the third coast (the gulf coast natch) in the city of 10 gallon hearts the black drip flows freely ferreals and snap the novel dead lives on in the belly of the rebel without a crew.

Lest you think im digressing into arhythmic staccato nudity down in the atx la lingua de cine es universal, or something.

Which brings us to me, B, soon to be the once and future king of screenplays, because when my stizz is flaunting hyped up to the ideal level of entertainment ovs you got something piping hot, that is content for your respective p's.

The Austin Real World, will be getting gilled yaaa in the future, hark and it shall appear. Or to misquote a former saboteur, "the world is upside down, and I am the world." Developing....

B

Will you just look at me?

2005-01-10T11:04:00.000-08:00

It's Spring 2005 and that means we've got some change-ups in ye olde house of Royal. Some lost, some gained, and the gain definitely outweighs. Brazzie and Sus are back, old-school stizz, which means we've got the return of Royal Past, which means it's gonna be beyond totemptan, shmears.

And, dude, what better way for your dear Lisse to return than some Capture the Flag in Pease Park (against Rhizome Collective--in your face, non-blogs!) and then some hanging out and shooting the shizz? Spencer, too, made an appearance to pick up some mail (somewhere in the deeps of Mt. Mail) and stayed to grace our ears with his vocals. Thanks, blogga, but no thanks to the neighbors who claim we make noise they get blamed for. Suck a D, neighbors!

Stay classy,
L

shmears

2005-01-09T20:26:00.000-08:00

blogging down in the atx, what's shaking you may be asking well dudeskries,
local boys voxtrot

played their first show in the nyc and the word on the street is that show was toooootemptan.

the school semester is starting up again ovs, and thus the nubiles are trickling back into the velvet womb
we will be giving you updates ferreal

swaaate

B